What I Want for Mother's Day

I am fairly new to Mother's day, but so far my experience hasn't been great. Two years ago, I went into labor on Mother's day. Last Mother's Day, Emily had a mystery illness that involved a high fever and digestive difficulties. This year is shaping up to be no better. For the past two days, Emily has been stricken with the stomach flu and since I have spent almost that entire time cleaning up after all the stomach flu involves, I fear the hammer will drop on me soon. So, with that background information out of the way, here is what I really want for Mother's Day.

1) I want to be able to get Emily up in the morning without having to strip her down where she stands, rush her to the shower and throw the entire contents of her crib into a washing machine that contains almost as much bleach as it does water.

2) I want to go an entire day without being puked on.

3) I want to go an entire day without saying the word "puke".

4) I want to prepare a meal where all the food doesn't have to qualify as bland and binding.

5) I want all that which belongs in the diaper to cleave unto the diaper.

6) Lastly, I would like a new car that fits a stroller and groceries. Since every item on my list is totally unrealistic, I figured I might as well throw that one in.

Happy Mother's Day, everyone. And just in case you think motherhood is without its rewards, here is a picture of what I get to hang out with every day:

Now, I think that's worth all the puke clean up in the world.