Fifteen

Today is my fifteenth anniversary. A decade and a half ago, we were two college kids that made promises that we may not have understood fully at the time, but which we were determined to keep. We have seen a lot through the years. As much as this year has sucked, we've been through worse and we will continue to go through this together.

I wanted to take some time to thank Chris for all he's been through with me for the last year. The day I found my cancer, he accompanied me to the doctor's office because he knew I was scared. The next week he held my hand as they did the biopsy. He was there at the surgeon's office as I cried when I was told a mastectomy was my best option. He wept with me that day as I learned I would have to have chemotherapy. He called and nagged the surgeon's offices when I was having a hard time getting a surgery date set. He gave me a blessing the night before surgery that everything would be okay. He waited for 9 hours during my surgery, never leaving the hospital just in case something happened. He rejoiced with me when we got the news my nodes were clear. He took care of me for 2 weeks following surgery, even after he caught pneumonia. He washed my hair when I couldn't raise my arms. He walked with me so my muscles wouldn't atrophy. He has gone to every chemo appointment with me. When my hair started to fall out, he shaved my head. He has taken care of the kids as I've been sick and tired. He singlehandedly purchased, delivered and installed a new washing machine when ours broke on the same weekend as my 4th and worst round of chemo. He gets me mint tea and cookies to me when I go to infusion because infusion is long and cold. He tells me that the peach fuzz on my head "definitely looks darker" and "for sure is longer" than last week. Now he is supporting me as I am skidding, dragging and crying toward the finish line of chemo. I love him and I know that he loves me. Someone who didn't would have checked out of this circus a long time ago.

This is our latest picture together. At the chemo "spa" last summer. Maybe it's time I started letting my picture be taken. Maybe after a few more eyelashes grow in.

Anyway, happy anniversary, Chris! I love you. Thank you for everything. 

Turkey, Trees, and Cousins

Since I last blogged Thanksgiving has happened. My family came to town and we had lots of fun. The girls love spending time with their cousins.

We actually decorated a Christmas tree. I am particularly proud of this accomplishment this year. 

Today we were able to attend Mila's presentation in Denver. Mila is the daughter of Brian, Chris' brother, and Virginia, his wife. She is adorable and happy. The presentation ceremony was beautiful and Emily and Jane cannot get enough of their baby cousin. 

Here is the lovely little family along with the Godparents. Virginia has been one of my guiding lights through surgery and chemo. I can't express what it means to me to see her 8 years from her diagnosis, with a sweet baby who looks so much like my own little girls. 

We traveled to Denver the night before because I have treatment every Thursday. Typically, I crash on Friday evenings and stay crashed all day Saturday. That means Chris was a hero on this trip, getting the kids out the door, dealing with complaints and cleaning up vomit that went down right as we got to Denver. I don't know how I would do it without him.

So speaking of which, here is my obligatory update: I have 5 chemo treatments left. It will probably take more than 5 weeks to finish up, though, because I will probably have to push at least one treatment back on account of the nerve damage that is occurring as a side effect of this drug. Other than that, I am tired. I am overwhelmed.

I am overwhelmed by the amount of work I have to do in every aspect of my life on what little energy I have. But more than that I am overwhelmed by the friends who know exactly what I need and when to take over for me. By my counselors and secretary who frequently don't wait for an assignment before filling a need in the Primary. I love these ladies. By my friends who know I would rather collapse than ask for help. So they do things unbidden and unnamed. Such as decorate my porch. Every month. I have no idea who does it, but I love them.

Mostly I'm overwhelmed by my husband who attends every infusion with me and provides me with mint tea and figures out how to get around the blocks on Netflix and Hulu that the hospital has put on their wifi. And who helps out with science projects and who cleans up puke. And who tells me I am beautiful when I am not. Someday I will make it up to him. With a really ridiculous car that is totally age inappropriate. Because he's earned it.