A long, long time ago...

Okay, so it wasn't that long ago, but still, it's difficult to remember my life without Chris. We were married eight years ago today. I have to say, hands down, it was the best decision that I ever made. For eight years, Chris has put up with my eccentricities and loved me in spite of them.

In these past eight years, we have lived in three apartments and then, finally, our first house. We have had two beautiful daughters. We have both graduated college and gone through the stress of the PE exam. We have had our share of disappointment, but looking back, I can honestly say that it has only made our marriage stronger. The past eight years have been the best of my life. It's hard to imagine that it all started when Chris finally overcame his nerves enough to blurt out "Will you go to the movies with me?". Thanks, Chris for plucking up enough courage to ask me on that first date and for everything that has happened since. I don't know what I'd do without you.

Sorry for the picture - I'm about five monts pregnant in it, but it was the only recent one of us together - besides the nine months pregnant one that was taken two weeks ago and I'm not about to share that. I think we should get glamour shots for Christmas.

Introducing Jane

On December 10th at 3:28 in the afternoon, Jane became a part of our family. She weighed in at a hefty 5 pounds, 12 ounces and was 18.25 inches long. She is a sweet girl and we are very happy to have her. Despite all the fears of my doctors during the pregnancy, Jane was born with a perfectly healthy heart and is very healthy in all other respects. Jane has one special arm that Emily has dubbed the "cute arm". We love her all the more for it and know that Heavenly Father would never have given her a challenge she can't overcome.

Jane has puffy blonde hair just like her sister did. Her eyes are blue and I have given up hope that I can produce a child that looks remotely like me. That aside, although she looks very much like Emily, I can already see the two are very different in personality.

Someday soon, I will share some unswaddled pictures, but for now, Jane starts screaming everytime I unwrap her. I would rather have a peaceful swaddled picture than an unwrapped screaming picture. For now, anything that keeps her happy, keeps me happy. Although, right now, I am just happy she is part of our family.

Nursery Pictures... Finally

So, now that I am two weeks away from my due date, I finally got around to getting sheets on the crib and taking some pictures. We didn't get many suggestions from friends and family on the nursery decor so we had to fend for ourselves. I hope we did okay. (Thanks for the suggestion of yellow, Ginger. Unfortunately, Emily's room is yellow, so we went with purple and green instead).

Okay, so... drum roll... and here it is...

We still have a couple items to add and for anyone wondering, the twin bed is for me because I have a hard time stumbling down the hall in the middle of the night. It's best for all involved if I just crash in the nursery until the baby learns to sleep through the night for the most part.

Chris did a great job with the chair rail and it should prevent a similar incident to the tinkerbell wallpaper border fiasco of 2007 when Emily's arms finally got long enough to reach the aforementioned decor from her crib. The stripes are also Chris' work. I think they turned out very nicely. I was in charge of steam cleaning the carpet and putting sheets on the crib. I guess I got off pretty light. Thanks, Chris.

Now all we need to do is insert 1 baby (and move the changing table and rocking chair from Emily's room) and we will be in business!

Survival Saturday

So, I know you're all burning with curiosity as to how Super Saturday went for the least crafty enrichment counselor known to womankind. For those of you unfamiliar with Super Saturday, it is basically a day that all the women get together and make homemade Christmas gifts. In case any of you think my crafting ability can't be that bad, please see this post. Amazingly enough, I managed to survive and thanks to help from the crafty ladies of the ward, the internet and my spreadsheet making capabilities, things actually went quite smoothly.

I was directly responsible for two things:

Bath Salts

and

Christmas ornaments

Although I supervised other things, these were the only two things that went directly from the internet to me, to Super Saturday. Don't worry. I won't post instructions or anything. I just wanted to prove that sometimes going outside our comfort zones isn't a total catastrophe.

I was shocked as Super Saturday progressed that no one yelled at me and no one laughed at my efforts. Perhaps it was the lesson I gave a couple Sundays earlier on doing the best we can with service. Or maybe the scrapbooking league is silently planning their revenge... either way, I was still able to show my face at church the next day.

Now I can breathe a sigh of relief and start planning for next year. Trust me, we will not be holding any crafting enrichments between now and then.

A Good Day

Today was a good day. I didn't think it would be when I woke up to a dark, snowy, windy morning. I thought it would be even worse when I realized I not only had to go grocery shopping in this weather, but that I also had a to do list that included visits to at least four stores all with a two year old in tow.

But nonetheless, it was a good day. After the errands were run and Emily was down for nap, I had a couple of uninterrupted hours of work that ended in me printing out and stamping my design and printing copies of my plan sheets for submission.  I am essentially done with my last job before baby. Tomorrow I can focus on getting ready for the baby and finishing up my Super Saturday tasks. I have never felt so relieved. My project is done and the baby is still weeks away.Today was a good day.

Two weeks Later

So finally, here is my Halloween post.

Emily went as Tigger, a choice she made herself despite my lobbying for the cute ladybug costume. When you go as tigger, you get to yell, "Bounce, bounce, bounce!", and jump around like a maniac. That's what Emily does best, so she was very in character for Halloween.

 

She also couldn't believe what a good deal trick or treating is. She went out for almost two hours and didn't want to come home at the end. All in all, Halloween was a great success.

I promise I will post more often once I get this project out of  my hair. Maybe I will even go hardcore and do a post about my Super Saturday crafts... complete with instructions.

Super Hyper

I apologize to all my loyal readers. I am, in fact, still here. Lately I have been working on a project, so I haven't had time to do a lot of things - like blog or watch youtube videos or brush my teeth. But now that I'm waiting on some survey information I thought I'd give my teeth a good brush and then blog some stuff.

This blog isn't the nursery pictures blog. The room is coming along nicely, but isn't ready for Better Homes and Gardens quite yet. This is the blog where I write about my trip to the grocery store. Tonight, I was able to treat myself to a solo shopping trip to Target and then to King Soopers. Mothers of toddlers know that there is no greater luxury than to go to the store and actually be able to compare prices and linger over brand decisions. So I wasn't annoyed when I got stuck behind a slow driver on my way to King Soopers.

Then I realized this guy wasn't just slow - he was super slow. And he was doing everything he could do to avoid coming to a full stop at red lights. He was driving 20 in a 40 mph zone. I had heard about these guys on the news before. They call them hyper milers. They put courtesy, safety and other people's time below their desire to squeeze a few more miles out of a tank of gas. Except for this guy wasn't just a hyper miler. He was a super hyper miler. You see, he was driving a Toyota Prius. I figure he must be getting 4,000 miles per gallon.
I'm all for saving a little money, but I would rather buy store brand food and turn the heat down a few degrees than spend all day getting across town. So at my first opportunity, I revved my tiny Korean engine and pulled around the hyper miler, quickly leaving him in the dust. I didn't get fifty miles to the gallon on that trip, but at least I got home in time to blog.

Something More Definitive

Today was ultrasound part II and I finally know that we are having a girl. So everyone asks: is that what you wanted? Well, what I really wanted was a baby (of either sex) plus a million dollars, but since that didn't work out, I'll settle for a girl. But now that the idea has started settling in, I have come to realize there are several advantages to having another girl.

1) I will never get pee in my face while changing a diaper.

2) In another decade or so, the whole family can go to the ballet or to a production of Phantom of the Opera and everyone will be happy. Except Chris. But we'll let him choose where we go for dinner afterward to make it up to him.

3) I don't have to buy new clothes. Or crib bedding. The financial benefits will be wonderful.

4) Once I have the bra/deoderant/shaving your legs/becoming a woman talk with Emily she'll immediately pass on the information to her little sister whether I like it or not. That way I'll only have to have the talk once.

5) There is very little chance of urine actually missing the toilet.

I do feel a bit bad for Chris because he will never be able to teach our children to pee standing up or to kill something with their bare hands but since he isn't really the killing with bare hands type, I don't think he'll be missing out on too much. I think we're both fairly satisfied with today's revelation.

Now onto more important things: What color should we paint the room? Seriously, this baby's going to be here in less than three months and I have no idea how to decorate the nursery. Any ideas will be appreciated. I promise some pictures when it's done.

The First Annual Gift Card Day

Today was one of those days where it just drizzled all day long. So the park was out of the question. And Emily was sick, but not sick enough to stare glassy eyed at the TV all day. She was just sick enough that the other moms would have (rightfully so) glared at me if I would have let her play at the mall or library. I was racking my brain for something to keep both of us from going crazy until I remembered the little cards in my wallet. We both had gift certificates from our birthdays. I was saving them for a rainy day and I decided today was that day.

Lately, I have been so frustrated that the price of everything has been so out of control. Every week I slog home from the grocery store feeling defeated and frivolous purchases have been out of the question. So I declared today gift card day and went out determined to buy something for each of us that was not a necessity. After a great deal of deliberation, we picked up a Little Einsteins Rocket for Emily. She was thrilled beyond belief and made a miraculous (if momentary) recovery upon returning home and opening her treasure.

My gift card was for Bed Bath and Beyond. Even if I don't buy anything at BB&B, I still love to walk through the whole store, looking at every gadget and hand towel. A half hour of browsing and a pack of fruit snacks (for Emily) later, I found the perfect purchase: a spice rack. I have always wanted an organized way to store my spices and to be perfectly honest, the more pregnant I get, the more ridiculous I look when I climb up on the counter and kneel there while looking for that elusive cumin. Plus this spice rack looks really snazzy on my counter.

I wish every day could be gift card day. It was so nice to go out and buy something I didn't need. Thanks, Uncle Ryan and Aunt Amity!

She's Here, There and Everywhere

I have a good reason for not having posted for so long. Last week we started cleaning out our computer room which was conveniently located down the hall from my bedroom to make way for kid #2. It was either put the computer or the kid in the basement and I hope we made the right choice. Currently, I just don't get to the basement that much and when I do, it's not fun to spend much time there. Although, I have to give it to Chris - he did a wonderful job finishing a bedroom and it really does feel quite homey.

So... to my point. Lately, I have been feeling like I can't go a day without having Rachael Ray pop up in some place that grates my nerves. Don't get me wrong - I don't mind her cooking show every so often. It's just that now she has like six shows on food network and another on network TV in addition to her magazine and books and now her face is jumping out at me at the grocery store and even at one of my favorite havens - Bed Bath and Beyond.

She seems to have closed her eyes, pointed to a spinning wheel of products and said "Hmmm... I think I'll make that. What's a great name for a dog food intended to be eaten at the dinner table? I know - Nutrish!"




"And how can I advise people to throw their vegetable peelings into a regular mixing bowl? That's just gross. We should make a garbage bowl and sell it for $17.95 to young mothers who are already swimming in credit card debt".










"What about those people who are dumb enough to think I'm talking about a completely new ingredient when I refer to extra virgin olive oil as evoo? I know. Let's buy up Bertolli's leftover olive oil, slap a label on that says "EVOO", bank on the fact that it's extra cute and hope that someone will buy it!"





"And to top it all off, why would someone want to use a kitchen towel, when they can use a Moppine?"
Am I the only one who's had enough Rachael Ray? I guess I must be because the rest of the country seems to be loving her quirky, fun, girl-next-door wit and wisdom and they can't get enough of her strange mother/child relationship with her dog.

The End of a Very Long Week

This past week I have been a full time student. I was never keen on taking compressed courses in college, and time hasn't altered that opinion. That aside I feel very blessed to have had the opportunity. I don't have to worry about continuing education credits again until my yet to be born child is a toddler.

This week was the first time I put Emily in day care. It was traumatic for us both (although I tend to think it was more traumatic for me). She had a great time while I was in class, fingerpainting, playing with playdoh and making shaving cream sculptures. She was with friends of mine whom she has known all all her life. I knew she was in good hands. Still, it was great picking her up on Friday afternoon knowing that we were going back to life as we knew it.

While I was in class, my house stayed so much cleaner without Emily to mess it up. I didn't have to tell her to leave things alone a thousand times a day and I never asked myself my favorite question: Did she eat enough of this (fill in the blank) that I should call poison control? Something tells me that Monday morning, when I don't have to drop her off for the day, I won't mind those things so much.

And the results are...

Inconclusive. I was hoping to have the same experience I had with Emily, where I came out of the ultrasound room and went straight to the home improvement store to buy Tinkerbell wallpaper. Instead I came away with the knowledge that it was "more likely than not" a girl. But only slightly more likely. We didn't even get any good pictures. The baby was all scrunched up the whole time and so all we got were bits and pieces.

I am sort of relieved and only a little worried that there are a couple minor issues that need checking back on so maybe that day I can get a better answer. On the bright side, if it is a boy we can still go shopping and if it is a girl, we haven't lost any money thanks to the 12 square feet in the basement dedicated to boxes of Emily's former wardrobes.

Gripe Warning

This is how I feel today. I am the cat and the puppy is the power drunk drafting instructor at our local community college

I hereby rescind my apology to drafters. I am still willing to extend the hand of friendship to those drafters who are willing to be reasonable, but I realize I was quite mistaken in thinking that if I assumed an attitude of humility, they would be willing to work with me.

Allow me to explain: After a great deal of research I have decided the best, quickest, and cheapest way to get my continuing education credit is to take a drafting course at the community college. Unfortunately, the only course that works out time-wise is a beginning course in software that I am already proficient in. I still decided to go for it. Why? Because I can get enough credits for three years in a week's worth of classes for under $200. I was told today by the instructor that I can't take the course. Why? Because he doesn't believe that an engineer can be proficient enough with the software to qualify to take a beginning course. This is a classic case of a drafter with a gripe against engineers.

So my question is: What do you do when you run into a jerk like this? I am open to suggestions and please be creative. So far the voodoo doll isn't working (unless the reason why this guy isn't returning my calls is because his leg fell off and shoved itself into his mouth).

The Craftiness of Women

It's amazing how a room full of ladies with glue guns, scrapbooking pages, iron on transfers or mod podge can make me feel like I'm back in seventh grade gym class not getting picked for a volleyball team. I would rather spend the afternoon having a root canal than crafting.

When I craft I feel as if I am trying to diffuse a bomb while wearing boxing gloves. I was once told, "You know, you could be a much better crafter if you if you just tried". This statement presupposes two things 1) That I really would be better at it if I tried (which I might not), and 2) That I care enough to try to improve my skills (which I don't).

I just don't care. I feel a huge weight being lifted as I admit this and yet I also feel as if I'm offending 3/4 of my friends. You know - the ones who have hand crafted signs in their entryways that say something like "Bless this Mess" or "Friends Welcome Here" or "NO Stairway to Heaven". But what's the point in having friends who don't love you for who you are?

This brings me to last night. This year, some of my friends had put together a team for Race for the Cure. I thought as long as I was going, I may as well join their team, which honors their grandmother who passed away from breast cancer. Last night I got a call saying we would be meeting to make shirts to be worn on race day in conjunction with this effort to honor their Grandma Ruby. Now, I am all for honoring this great lady, but I wasn't thrilled that it required a crafting effort on my part. The shirts were to say "Ruby Racers" and be studded with red rhinestones. Here's where I let the finished shirt do the talking for me:

Sorry, Grandma Ruby. I plan on making a new one this afternoon.

The most tragic part of this story is that I was just called as Enrichment Counselor in my ward's Relief Society (for those of you who don't know what this is, one of my duties is to oversee enriching activities for the ladies and I will be lynched if a great many crafts are not included). I plan on counting on the Enrichment Leader to take care of the details and the appliquéing. Maybe now's the time to finally start making my effort. Or maybe it's time the ladies of our ward put away their bedazzlers and learned how to program macros.

The Box

Today I knew the time had finally come that I needed to venture into the recesses of the basement and seek out the box I had packed away two years ago. I reluctantly looked, almost hoping I wouldn't find it. But after a few minutes of halfhearted searching, I found what I was looking for.



It's always hard to admit to yourself that you have become too oddly shaped to fit into clothing created for normal human beings, but it has to happen at some point. It's kind of like taking out the fat pants after Christmas... and knowing you're going to have to wear them until Easter.

When I opened the box, they were even worse than I remembered. But I took comfort in the fact that by New Year's they will be carefully packed away again... into the garbage.

What I did with my $1.61

For those of you who are unaware of my recent pennies from heaven experience, read here.

I have mused long and hard about how to spent it. Finally, today, as I was buying thread to fix a stuffed sea lion who had been horribly wounded by the washing machine I saw the perfect use for my $1.61. I purchased (drum roll please) a seam ripper. It may not sound like that exciting of a purchase, but I figure that I use my existing seam ripper about once a day and I spend a third of my life looking for it. Since I had the extra cash, I bought a dedicated one for my sewing machine. In the past, I have had to go so far as to try to rip out mistakes with a safety pin because my seam ripper was lost. This will ensure that I have one on hand every time I make a mistake sewing and will free up my other one for more exciting uses such as:

Getting that last bit of grime out from under my fingernails.

Busting into difficult to penetrate shrink wrap.

Taking itchy tags out of shirts.

Splitting crab leg shells.

Not to mention all the time I will save not having to constantly search for a seam ripper. With all that free time, who knows? I might even solve the fuel crisis. $1.61 to break our dependence on foreign oil - now that's a steal.

The Final Frontier

Every time I go I say that this will be my final trip to Frontier Days. Last year I was so serious about not having anything to do with it that we left town. Last night, we made our return to Frontier Days for the first time since the drunken cowboy brawl of 2005 (if you want to know more about this ask Chris).






We had a great time seeing the Thunderbirds in the morning (sorry, I forgot the camera) and then going to the Air Force open house. This is Emily sitting in a helicopter. Despite her facial expression it was a very exciting moment for her.






Since we had so much fun in the morning, we decided a trip to Frontier Park (also known as the belly of the beast the last full week in July) was warranted. Yesterday was, after all, Cheyenne Day and that meant that admission was free and rides were discounted for Cheyenne residents. After riding two rides with Emily, we ate the most expensive, most disgusting gyros available to mankind and decided we were all frontiered out. In spite of the discounts and freebies, we had blown through $54 in an hour and a half.




On the way out, we decided to take Emily by the animal pens. That was a big hit. She was smiling and waving at the cows and horses and kept exclaiming, "Oh! How cute!". Of course, that part was free. Maybe next year we will just drop by and see the animals. That would be fun. But chances are good that we will once again talk ourselves into visiting the belly of the beast, spending money we shouldn't and eating food that will torture our guts for days. Isn't that, after all, what family fun is all about?

Thank you, W!

After many years of letting the summer pass us by, Chris and I finally decided it was time for a vacation. Thanks to W's tax rebates we were left with no excuses and so, last Monday, we dropped Emily off with my sainted parents and began our adventure.

We visited Independence, Liberty, Far West and Adam Ondi Ahman in Missouri and Carthage and Nauvoo in Illinois. I won't write a comprehensive summary of our travels because there are many guide books that will give you that and also most of my blogfans have been to all these places. I will however cover what in my mind were the highlights of the trip.

#1 - Allowing the GPS to guide us over a series of dirt roads to Far West. It turns out it could have been reached on main highways, but this was much more fun. It was kind of like getting lost without really getting lost.

#2 - The beautiful landscapes. I can see why the pioneers were so disappointed when they arrived in Salt Lake. It was amazing to me to see trees that had not been planted and cultivated but had just sort of sprung forth from the ground.




#3 - I thought Carthage jail would be very sad to visit, but I found it to be exactly the opposite. I was surprised by lack of blame and hatred towards the members of the mob. Carthage wasn't a reminder that Joseph Smith had been brutally murdered - It was a reminder that he believed in what he was doing enough to walk calmly into certian death.













#4 - Chris almost had a bigfoot sighting at Adam Ondi Ahman. It turned out to be a deer. Look closely. It's in there somewhere.






#5 - For the first time in my life, I saw fireflies. Now, I know a few of my blogfans live in areas where they are plentiful and find them rather unremarkable but when you stop to think about it, how much cooler does it get than a bug with a butt that lights up?

#6 - Seeing both the Mississippi and the Missouri rivers.



#7 - Getting to go through the Nauvoo temple and spending time walking around the temple grounds later that evening. The coolest part of the temple construction is that I could not find a single bit of concrete within the temple grounds. The curb and gutter were limestone and I believe the sidewalk and parking lot were granite. I know most people wouldn't have noticed but I have always had a great appreciation for such things.




#8 - Seeing the rocking horse that belonged to John Taylor's son. The story goes that the son was so distraught to leave his horse behind that John Taylor turned back after a couple of days' journey and risked his life to sneak back into Nauvoo to retrieve the horse for his son. It made it all the way to Salt Lake and was eventually donated back to Nauvoo by the family. It was very touching to see the love he had for his son.

#9 - After seeing the beautiful homes that these people had built with their own hands, I had a great appreciation for the fact that most had to leave after staying only a few months in their completed dwellings. It must have taken a great deal of faith to leave their dream homes for an uncertian future.

#10 - Making the same journey the pioneers made in months all in one day. We left Nauvoo (actually Keokuk - 15 miles away) after a late breakfast and we landed in Salt Lake in time for dinner. It really made me appreciate the ability we have to travel.

#11 - Getting to spend time with Chris.

We had a wonderful time and are very grateful that we were able to go.

My lucky day

Yesterday, as I was cleaning my car, I found a grand total of $1.61. It may be nothing to Chris' inheritance , but It was a buck sixty-one that I didn't have before and now it is burning a hole in my pocket. With that kind of cash I could:




Buy a satisfying lunch packed with vitamins and consisting of either a hamburger, a taco or fries.










Enjoy the relative silence for a minute and thirty seconds as Emily rides the super overpriced mechanical horse at WalMart.






Eat 3 packs of M&M's in one sitting - by myself. In the dark. Because I would be ashamed and also because I wouldn't want to share.











Drive 10 miles with no destination in mind while singing along to Journey.





These are all definitely strong options, but I don't want to blow my wad before I've thought it through. Anyone else have any ideas?

The Good Old Days

When Emily was a newborn and had the worst case of colic known to man, I was out of my mind. I was exhausted and constantly clinging to the very tail end of my rope. At that time, a few parents actually said to me, "Just wait until she's two and starts throwing tantrums and asking questions constantly. Then you'll long for these days". At the time, those comments engendered such a feeling of hopelessness that I wondered why anybody would have children. Now I know better.

Emily is finally two and I can at last definitively say I long for those days about as much as Nelson Mandela wishes he was back in prison.

The tantrums are not fun, but they are brief and are improving over time. They are more than offset by the range of emotions that wasn't there two years ago. At the beginning, there was only mad and asleep. Now happiness, boredom, curiosity, remorse, playfulness and a slew of other emotions have joined the mix.

As for the questions, they have been coming for about six months now and although I am not always able to give a satisfactory answer, I must say that I love being constantly asked, "What is that?" or "What's that sound?". I love the awakening that is taking place every day. With the awakening comes communication I would have never dreamed possible a year ago. I can answer her questions. I can explain rules to her. I can calm her down by talking to her and (my favorite) I can bribe her to be good.



This whole experience has left me wishing that children came into the world as toddlers rather than infants. It has also left me with a great deal of doubt when those same parents who told me I would hate the toddler years tell me how bad teenagers are. Something tells me I will never again wish for colic. And there is a great deal of comfort in that.

Now... let's just hope that the parents who tell me the second one is always more mellow are right.

A Tribute

Six years ago, I was newly married, had recently graduated from college and I was very, very fat. After I got married, I had done a lot of cooking and it showed. I had also lost access to Half Acre Gym which meant that on cold days I got a lousy workout, if I even got one at all. When I turned 23, I told anyone who asked that I wanted money for my birthday - money that would help me buy a treadmill. I got a cheap treadmill (top picture) and was amazed at the difference it made. I could run even on the snowiest of days.

Since then, I have lost 45 pounds, moved twice, had a child, recovered from a stress fracture and through it all have been able to run longer and feel better thanks to my treadmill. When you pay $400 for a treadmill, you don't expect it to last long, but I figure this one has in excess of 5000 miles on it. It has been through a few repairs and has continued to work so that I could continue to run.

Last week, my treadmill started making a new noise. It has always squeaked, but this was a grinding noise. I asked Chris to take a look. He determined it could be saved, but it would cost over half of the original purchase price. I knew it was time to say goodbye to my old friend. Last Friday, I took it for one last run. It made its horrible grinding noise on and off, but it held up like a champion. I think it knew it was the last time.

It was sad to say goodbye, but once we got the new treadmill set up on Saturday (bottom picture), I could clearly see that home exercise equipment has come a long way in the last 6 years. It is quiet, smooth and beautiful. Still, there is some emotional attachment to my first treadmill - kind of like a first car. Thanks for going the miles with me, old friend.

Punk Kids

If I ever had anything in common with teenagers, I no longer do. I started to come to this realization when Chris and I were in the movie theater a few weeks ago. A few minutes into the previews, two teenage girls plopped down right next to me and started whispering and texting. After a prolonged conversation, they decided their diets could tolerate some popcorn and so they asked me if I would save their seats while they visited the concessions stand.

"Ahh... Nope", I said, smiling politely. Why would I want to save the seats of two girls who were ruining my evening? I would rather take my chances with the next latecomer.

The girl stared at me dumbfounded, "No? Seriously? You won't save our seats?".

"No, seriously".

They didn't know how to respond, so they left without another word. We moved down a couple rows and from there on out enjoyed the movie.

Last week, I had another run in that made me realize that I could probably never make it as a high school teacher. At least not teaching the dumb kids.


A few friends and I decided to arrange a play date at a local park. As soon as I arrived, I noticed several teenagers (who were supposed to be in school at the time) playing on equipment intended for the preschool and grade school crowd. We tried to ignore them, but as soon as lunchtime began at the nearby high school, the crowd multiplied to dozens of teenagers, squeezing our small children out of the park. When they started smoking and talking at the tops of their voices about things that shouldn't even be mentioned in whispers, I knew that it was time to go.

I left feeling old. Had I really changed so much in a decade? After a bit of thinking, I realized that I hadn't changed. I never liked kids like that. I had always given them dirty looks and the occasional verbal reprimand - even when I was their age. I'm not old - just reasonable.

Now my greatest fear is sending my little girl out into a world where kids behave like that. Maybe when she turns 12, I'll order up some brochures for one of those bad kid boot camps. That way I'll have something to scare her with if she ever comes home with hoop earrings that touch her shoulders and a midriff bearing shirt.

A Wild Week

This week was very busy. On Monday we went to the zoo as sort of an early birthday present for Emily. She had a great time. We were so excited to show her the elephants and bears and lions she sees in her books, but all she has been able to talk about was the peacock. Maybe next time, we will just go to the pet store and tell her we're at the zoo. I'm sure she will be fascinated with the finches.






Wednesday my parents came to town and the two day birthday celebration extravaganza began. As you can see, we put Emily's safety first. Birthday injuries are the #12 cause of visits to emergency rooms so we made sure Emily wore her helmet the entire time.







Thursday was the birthday proper and I, being the lazy mom I am, decided we should just have a casual celebration with friends. And cake. Lots of cake. Emily didn't seem to mind at all that her birthday party didn't include a bouncy house or a visit from Cinderella. All a 2 year old really needs are good friends and good cake.

What is your name? What is your quest? What is your favorite color?

As both my blogfans know, I use my blog to keep in touch with friends and family. I have an unlisted blog because I want to use real names and post real pictures of my family, knowing that some Canadian child molester isn't tuning in.

That having been said, you can understand my concern when someone commented on my blog last week and left only a first name that wasn't connected to a profile. David, you know who you are, but I don't. I am pretty sure you are a friend, but I just want assurance that my address didn't end up on a website targeted at gay inmates. So, just to indulge me, could you maybe leave me another comment with some clue as to who you are so I can make sure you aren't commenting from prison?

Please feel free to share my blog address with anyone who might be interested, but do use discretion. I would like this to continue to be a safe place to update my friends and family on the happenings of my life.

What I Want for Mother's Day

I am fairly new to Mother's day, but so far my experience hasn't been great. Two years ago, I went into labor on Mother's day. Last Mother's Day, Emily had a mystery illness that involved a high fever and digestive difficulties. This year is shaping up to be no better. For the past two days, Emily has been stricken with the stomach flu and since I have spent almost that entire time cleaning up after all the stomach flu involves, I fear the hammer will drop on me soon. So, with that background information out of the way, here is what I really want for Mother's Day.

1) I want to be able to get Emily up in the morning without having to strip her down where she stands, rush her to the shower and throw the entire contents of her crib into a washing machine that contains almost as much bleach as it does water.

2) I want to go an entire day without being puked on.

3) I want to go an entire day without saying the word "puke".

4) I want to prepare a meal where all the food doesn't have to qualify as bland and binding.

5) I want all that which belongs in the diaper to cleave unto the diaper.

6) Lastly, I would like a new car that fits a stroller and groceries. Since every item on my list is totally unrealistic, I figured I might as well throw that one in.

Happy Mother's Day, everyone. And just in case you think motherhood is without its rewards, here is a picture of what I get to hang out with every day:

Now, I think that's worth all the puke clean up in the world.

A Series of Catastrophic Failures

It all started a few weeks ago with the kitchen light. That particular light has always chewed through bulbs like those little Japanese guys chew through hot dogs at eating competitions. So when a bulb burned out and Chris went to change it, he realized that the high tech heat shield (consisting of what looked like metallic spraypaint over cardboard) had failed and that the wires were starting to scorch. So that night we had to cut our once-quarterly date short to pick up this number:

I admit, it looks much better than the old one, but I would rather have not had to spend the money in the first place.

Two weeks went by almost without incident until Tuesday. Tuesday morning was rough. Emily woke up very early and seemed bent on injuring herself all morning. I decided to give myself a break at lunchtime and microwave some chicken nuggets. The microwave operated for approximately one second before it tripped the GFCI. I reset it. It tripped it again. The next twenty minutes consisted of preheating the oven and cooking the nuggets the old fashioned way while Emily maintained a constant whine of, "nuuuuuuggeeeets!", finally resorting to tears before she could partake of the promised chicken bits.

That night we picked up a new microwave. Things went well until the next night when we were microwaving dinners (I know - I'm a crappy homemaker) and the new microwave died. Since the modes of failure were completely different, we concluded it was bad luck rather than bad wiring. So, for the second night in a row, we picked up a new microwave. This one has passed the 24 hour mark, so I think we are going to be okay.

Tonight was the final straw. As I was waging my war against the spider mites that seem so intent upon entering my home, I was cleaning all the floors in my house. I ever so lightly bumped the vacuum on a corner and the cover flew off spectacularly, shooting five feet and coming to rest minus the clip that holds it closed. I am afraid it is irreparably broken. But April is almost over and I have a grand plan involving duct tape that I am sure will get us by until the May paycheck. I hope next month will be kinder to our household appliances.

Going Green

Today my blog is going green. Everyone talks about how life changing it is, so I thought I would try it for one day. It is Earth Day today and I am thinking about how much I miss being a student at UW on Earth Day. Every year, the Agriculture fraternity would celebrate by killing several cows and cooking up free burgers and beans for the whole campus. Now, that's a great way to celebrate the earth. What good is the earth anyway if you can't grow tasty cows on it?

Just because I can't have a free burger doesn't mean that I can't celebrate Earth Day in my own way. I am celebrating with a series of small changes. Today I pledge that I will not:

1) Drive Chris' nasty, dirty gas guzzling truck.

2) Spill any oil in any ocean or major waterway.

3) Use any cleaning products or paper towels.

4) Use any toilet paper. (Instead, I am keeping an old T-shirt by the toilet.)

5) Shower.

6) Use a coal burning furnace.

I calculate that by doing this, I will save sixteen butterflies, eight whales and that I will destroy my marriage when Chris comes home to a stinky wife, a dirty house and poop all over his favorite shirt (which I am using as a substitute for toilet paper). We all have to make sacrifices to save the earth. What will yours be?

It has been fun going green today but for the next post I think I will return to black. It is much easier on the eyes.

A dilemma

This weekend I am attending a wedding which is the fourth for the bride and at least the second for the groom. The bride is in her fifties with some grown children and some at home. The time is getting short and I have still not purchased a gift. What do you bring to a wedding of two independent families who are probably trying to eliminate belongings rather than taking them on?

So far, here are my ideas:



1) One of the crystal bowls I got for my wedding seven years ago and still have not taken out of the box.









2) Their first joint pet. Perhaps a cat.









3) A Dodge Dart with monogrammed seat covers.








That's all I've got. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Really. Please.

Two good things

Today two good things happened:

The first was that the drywall guys finished in our basement guest room. It's not that they haven't been perfectly polite and considerate - it's just weird having strangers in your house all day. It has been fun making the neighbors think that I'm having an affair with a guy who drives an Astro Van, but I am so happy to have the house back to myself. Oh - and if I ever did have an affair, it would be with a guy who drives a purple Hyundai. I have a weakness for men who are so secure in their masculinity that they are comfortable driving cars normally piloted by high school girls.



The second good thing that happened was that we finally had a warm day. Emily wore shorts for the first time this year. She braved a bad cold to spend some time in the sun. (By the way, we didn't get a dog - we just had our lawn aerated.) Due to global warming, shorts day came quite a bit later than it has in previous years and that made it even more welcome.