The List

We left the allergist's office yesterday feeling downcast. Emily was carrying a back full of hives and I was carrying a list. That infernal list.

Here's what the list says:

Egg
Peanut
Wheat
Tomato
NO TREE NUTS

(he wrote the last item in capital letters to emphasize the fact that tree nuts would be life threatening)

I knew about the egg, was well aware of the peanut and would risk death to protect Emily from tree nuts. I had no clue - none whatsoever about the wheat or the tomato.

Six weeks. That's how long the doctor told us to take Emily off of those two ubiquitous items. She's not severely allergic, but he said it may help her skin. MAY help? I'm starting to wonder if it's worth it. Emily has always been a picky eater and most of her diet consists of items containing wheat dipped in ketchup or sauced with tomatoes. She refuses to eat any variety of meat and 90% of vegetables. The only two vegetables she will eat are corn or tomatoes.

After she rejected the wheat-free mac and cheese I made her for lunch, she ate a bowl of Rice Krispies. I don't blame her. It's terrible (even though it was about a thousand times more involved to make than the stuff in the box). So was the sandwich on brown rice bread that made up last night's dinner. She couldn't even bite through the bread. How long can a human being survive on Rice Krispies?

So now two choices lay before Emily - eczema or malnourishment. Yesterday, the allergist was acting like eczema was worse. I'm beginning to disagree. I've had eczema for thirty years and would never, never, never give up wheat to be cured.

So now I get the choice of being a bad mom for starving my daughter or a being a bad mom for aggravating my daughter's eczema. It seems like that's how most choices are when it comes to motherhood.