Birthday, farm and Chemo casserole

This past week was Chris' birthday. I feel like he deserves a trip to some exotic location and a million dollars after all he's been through with me this summer but he had to settle for a new pair of hiking boots, 

Some homemade cinnamon rolls (my first post surgery baking foray) and a workout video - to go with the cinnamon rolls, of course. 

Ami and Jacob had just returned from the pacific northeast and returned with a bigfoot shirt for Chris. Everyone who knows Chris knows that he has a strange bigfoot obsession, so he was very pleased. 

The kids' summer camp ended last week and school doesn't start until Tuesday. Chris and I were supposed to take turns taking off work in order to fill the gap. But considering the state of my work leave after this summer, Chris agreed to take the whole week. He has been taking them on adventures which have included swimming, shopping, going to the library and going to a farm. They have enjoyed it thoroughly. 

They also went to go see the progress on the new temple. It is beautiful. I can't even express how grateful I am to Chris for everything he does. He has picked up the slack so seamlessly that I think the kids have hardly noticed the difference. 

Our biggest and suckiest adventure this week was the beginning of chemo. This is adriamycin. It is nicknamed "The Red Devil". I tend to agree with that assessment, especially since it feels like there have been demons in my stomach for the last three days. 

Two hours after treatment, I was white as a ghost and sicker than a a 12 year old Drew Barrymore at a frat party. That was in poor taste. I'm allowed. I'm not a well woman.  

Everyone means well and everyone has their own advice on how to get through chemo. I think the only way to get through is by making your own path and trying to keep things as normal as possible. I do what I can, when I can. When I can't cope I take Ativan (which has amazing anti-nausea properties) and I go to sleep. I eat bland food and stay away from anything spicy, bitter or sour... or anything that smells like anything resembling food. That's right out.

During chemo, I enjoy the blanket my grandma made for me and the excellent wifi at the cancer center... and my rock. Chris is always there, getting me whatever food I want for my last meal and telling me that I'm normal for wanting to cry. I really don't know what I would do without him.

Two months of the Red Devil and his little sister, Cytoxan and then I will be onto three months of a different (hopefully less stomach churning) drug. After that, life. That's the whole reason I'm going through all this crap. So I can get on with life.