The Ballad of Jane

Since Jane's birth, our attitude has been to treat her like any other baby because she is like any other baby. Because of this, we seldom mention Jane's differences. However, I recently realized that much of our family and many of our closest friends are unaware of the details of why Jane's arm is the way it is and how it affects (or doesn't affect) her life. So I thought I would dedicate a blog post to a short explanation.

Two weeks before Christmas, Jane came into our lives amid worries about her heart. After she was born, it became clear that her heart was perfectly healthy. However, there was something else that we were not expecting. Jane was born without a left hand and the lower portion of her left forearm. After a thorough examination, several doctors concurred that Jane had either lost or never developed a left hand due to amniotic banding, a rare condition in which fibrous bands that were once part of the amniotic sac entrap a portion of the baby's body. The presence of these bands is not common and is not due to any factor either on the part of the baby or the part of the mother. It is a random occurrence that we have since learned causes many pregnancies to end in miscarriage. Because of this, we are grateful that Jane lost only a hand.

That is pretty much the extent of the information we have learned about why Jane doesn't have a left hand. We aren't interested in pursuing any more of the why because it doesn't matter. Here is what does matter: Despite her missing hand, Jane has been overwhelmingly normal and we are delighted to have her in our family. We don't make a big deal about her hand because we don't want it to define her. Although it will always be the first thing someone will notice about her, we hope that as people get to know her, they will forget about her hand as we do for long periods of time.

We are currently looking into starting physical therapy and want to keep Jane's options open when it comes to prosthetic devices. There are some amazing devices on the market such as the i-limb that we hope Jane will be able to use in the future if she wishes. However, if Jane decides she doesn't want a prosthetic hand, we will be completely accepting of that as well. Many parents of children with similar challenges have found children's prosthetics to impede, rather than encourage, development. For that reason, we will probably be holding off on prosthetics for a while. Although we may change our minds when we meet with the prosthetist for the first time next week.

For now, Jane is doing well using her left forearm as she would a hand. She grasps objects between her right hand and left forearm and she has started to hold objects in the crook of her left arm. In every other respect, she is just like any other child. She has learned to roll over and can sit for short periods, just as Emily could when she was Jane's age. Her lack of a hand has not slowed her development at all thus far. We do not consider Jane to be handicapped or a special needs child. She does not function much differently than any baby her age.

We know that Jane was sent to our family as a blessing to us as well as to her. She has already taught us that different can be wonderful and that Heavenly Father knows what He is doing. Although the doctors considered the loss of Jane's hand to be a "random" event we know that nothing is random in Heavenly Father's plan for us. We love Jane and know that our family would not be complete without her.

If I had one wish then it would be... A happy happy birthday to you from me

It's official. I own a 3 year old. Most people get excited when they turn 16 because they can legally operate a car. But the big news around my house right now is 3. Because at 3 you can buy the toys with the little parts because the government says that you should have enough of a brain to not swallow the tiny parts. We'll see if that holds true.

Emily had a lovely birthday starting with the annual birthday zoo trip:

Then came the actual birthday and the birthday party.
Here's the cake:

She had a fun party with her friends and we discovered that all a 3 year old really wants out of a party is cake and balloons. Thank goodness we had plenty of both.

Emily also got her very own camera for her birthday. This is one of the better pictures. We deleted the ones of our feet and knees.
Even Jane got in on the birthday action. Her new highchair arrived (Emily trashed hers so badly that we decided to start from scratch when we realized that Emily's needed $70 in replacement parts.)

Jane doesn't eat any solids yet, but she loves sitting in it because she can get the lay of the land. Very useful for planning escape routes from Emily once she becomes mobile. And speaking of sitting... Jane sat by herself for the first time today. And I can't help but be just a little proud that did it two weeks earlier than Emily did.
Hurrah for Birthdays. And hurrah for me that I don't have to decorate another cake until Jane turns 1 in December.

A Great Mother's Day

This year, I got a bit extravagant with my Mother's Day requests. At first I asked Chris to clean all the dead plant matter and weeds out of the front and back yard gardens. That sort of ballooned into this:

Before

After

Yes, that's right. Chris built me a nice little vegetable garden. I have had limited success with vegetables in the past, but this is the year I stop paying for cherry tomatoes. At least during August and the first half of September.

He also surprised me with roses yesterday and chocolates this morning. Not just any chocolates. Godiva chocolates. A 19 piece box. I cannot express in words how happy Godiva chocolates make me. It is almost indecent how much I enjoy them. For the next 19 days I will be a happy girl. Then I will go through withdrawals.

Emily helped Chris with the garden and then colored a picture of me that actually included arms and legs. And then today she told me that she would like to go live with her friend's mom. I'll be writing that one down for future guilt trips...

All in all, it was a pretty good day. Thanks, Chris for all your hard work. Thanks, Jane for not having a blowout. Thanks, Emily for not giving me reason to call poison control today. You guys made my Mother's Day great!

An Exam, a Marriage and a Misnomer

Last week was interesting... to say the least. But it ended on a high note. Thursday, Chris left to take the P.E. exam in Casper. He took said exam on Friday while Jane made her first out of state trip to Brian (Chris' brother) and Virginia's wedding rehearsal in Fort Collins. Emily practiced her flower girl duties and Jane practiced being good.

Chris got back late Friday night (If you ask him how he did on the exam, you will get a very non-committal answer) and we caught a few hours sleep before we had to get the girls and ourselves all prettied up and made a very snowy return trip to Fort Collins.

The wedding was beautiful but very, very cold.

Chris was a very dapper best man. (don't worry, folks - it's sparkling cider.)

Emily was outstanding as the flower girl. (Pictured here with the ringbearer moments before the wedding)

Brian and Virginia made a striking couple.

And Jane screamed so loudly and resolutely, you'd think she was being paid for it.

And that is why I have no pictures of the actual wedding. Jane and I had to watch the outdoor wedding from the windows of the bed and breakfast at the location.

Just for laughs: Here is the only existing picture of me at the wedding:

I told Chris I look like I'm about to kill someone and Chris responded with, "You always look like you're about to kill someone". Thus answering the question,"How long do you have to be married before you're totally honest with your spouse?" Answer: 8 years.

But, really, it was a great time. Emily was the life of the party, regaling the guests with her superior dancing techniques.

The cherry on top was this awesome sign I saw on the way into town. I am still laughing.

Congratulations, Brian and Virginia. May you have as happy and honest a marriage as Chris and I do.

Open Mouth... Insert Foot

I say stupid things. Lots and lots of stupid things. As a matter of fact, if anyone asked me if I had a special talent I would tell them that I am gifted with verbal slip-ups. Today I made one such slip-up and it got me to thinking about some of my more memorable ones.

My favorite is the Date Auction incident of my Freshman year. Those of you who heard this particular Freudian slip, may remember it. Unfortunately it is a story I can't repeat here because the subject of the slip is still unaware of it and you never know who's reading.

My most disastrous slip occurred when I was teaching the Easter sharing time in primary. One particularly mouthy little girl asked why we couldn't learn about Jesus and the Easter Bunny. I told her it was because Jesus was real and the Easter Bunny wasn't. I didn't realize I had said anything out of line until I saw all the little crestfallen faces. Before you think I'm a total jerk, keep in mind it was senior primary, meaning there was no one under 8 in the room.

This Easter, I was praying over breakfast. Emily wouldn't stop playing with the toy rabbit she had received in her basket. So I inadvertently prayed that the food would nourish and strengthen our bunnies. I'm pretty sure that prayer just got canceled out.

That brings me to today. I ran into a girl I knew in high school while we were at the park. She recognized me right away, but it took a minute for me to remember her. Finally, I said, "Oh. I know you. You married James Potter. I used to work with him". I went on to tell her about how I took the P.E. exam with James. We talked for a bit about our kids and then it was time for us to go home. I called Chris at lunch and told him I ran into James Potter's wife.

"You mean Jason?"
"No, James. I'm sure of it. She didn't correct me and I said his name several times".
Chris looks his name up on the roster of his coworkers, "No. It's Jason".
"I could have sworn it was James".

Then it hit me. It couldn't have been James Potter because James was married to Lily. He was also killed by Voldemort thirty years ago. At least I didn't call him Dobby.

Just Answer the Question

Last night I got a phone call from a company doing a survey for the state health department. The questions regarded how my lifestyle affected my health. Since this is about the tenth phone call I have recieved from them, I finally decided to give in and take the survey in order to stop the calls.

The first half of the survey went well. It had to do with physical health. I let the woman administering the survey that I did not smoke or drink and that I worked out regularly. Just as I was congratulating myself on my excellent health practices, we moved on to the mental health portion. I was moving right along until we go to the question, "How often do you find that normal daily activities seem excessively difficult?". I began to laugh. This question wasn't formulated by someone with small children.

Anyone who would ask this question has never shopped for groceries with a screaming infant strapped to her chest and a toddler trying to open every box and package in the cart. She (or he) has never dressed kid one, kid two and found there was no energy or time to prepare herself for the day. She has never fed kid one, kid two and then ran out of steam to do anything but grab a pop tart for herself. She has never had to orchestrate an elaborate plan to get fifty pounds of laundry and two kids from the main floor to the second floor of the house while never leaving the kids alone on either floor for more than 30 seconds. She has never woken up at 6 a.m. only to be late for the 10:15 storytime at the library. She has never tried to clean house while balancing a baby on her hip all the while working at odds with the toddler who is trying to undo her work faster than she is able to clean. She has never visited a public restroom with two very small children in tow. She has never put off going to the bathroom as long as was physically possible and when she finally gave in, came out to find this:






(it's blue pen, by the way)








So, yes, I do find every day taks difficult. Does it make me crazy? Probably.

A Musical Dinosaur

The other day a group of friends and I were having a discussion about concerts we'd seen and I realized something: most of my favorite bands are either all or mostly dead. That makes me a little sad. There are only a few bands in the last ten years that I've even remotely enjoyed listening to. The radio is packed with R&B and bands that try to sound like U2 (Yes, Chris. I'm talking about Coldplay).


Meanwhile, I am still waiting for Boston to find someone decent to replace Brad Delp or for Christine McVee to return to Fleetwood Mac or for Bon Jovi to quit sucking. But in the long run it doesn't matter because they're all getting old and I haven't found anybody new to love.


Maybe it's the new music formats that have made music so disposable. I used to love going to the store to get a new CD. I would pay fifteen bucks for an album with two songs I liked and then listen to it nonstop over the next week. Eventually, I would come to love the rest of the album. Now you pay a buck a song to download just the ones you want. Do bands even put out albums anymore or do they just release single after gimmicky single?

So there you have it. I am a musical dinosaur. I long for the days when I would browse through the used CD's at Hastings hoping that someone had cast aside a decent Peter Gabriel album. And I no longer know where to start when I want to listen to something new. The internet is crammed with mediocre music and the radio is all country all the time. So does anyone have any good suggestions on how and where to find good music? If I don't do something fast, all my faves will be too old to tour in ten years and I will be doomed to a life without concerts just as my girls will be old enough to stay home alone.