As both my blogfans know, I use my blog to keep in touch with friends and family. I have an unlisted blog because I want to use real names and post real pictures of my family, knowing that some Canadian child molester isn't tuning in.
That having been said, you can understand my concern when someone commented on my blog last week and left only a first name that wasn't connected to a profile. David, you know who you are, but I don't. I am pretty sure you are a friend, but I just want assurance that my address didn't end up on a website targeted at gay inmates. So, just to indulge me, could you maybe leave me another comment with some clue as to who you are so I can make sure you aren't commenting from prison?
Please feel free to share my blog address with anyone who might be interested, but do use discretion. I would like this to continue to be a safe place to update my friends and family on the happenings of my life.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Thursday, May 8, 2008
What I Want for Mother's Day
I am fairly new to Mother's day, but so far my experience hasn't been great. Two years ago, I went into labor on Mother's day. Last Mother's Day, Emily had a mystery illness that involved a high fever and digestive difficulties. This year is shaping up to be no better. For the past two days, Emily has been stricken with the stomach flu and since I have spent almost that entire time cleaning up after all the stomach flu involves, I fear the hammer will drop on me soon. So, with that background information out of the way, here is what I really want for Mother's Day.
1) I want to be able to get Emily up in the morning without having to strip her down where she stands, rush her to the shower and throw the entire contents of her crib into a washing machine that contains almost as much bleach as it does water.
2) I want to go an entire day without being puked on.
3) I want to go an entire day without saying the word "puke".
4) I want to prepare a meal where all the food doesn't have to qualify as bland and binding.
5) I want all that which belongs in the diaper to cleave unto the diaper.
6) Lastly, I would like a new car that fits a stroller and groceries. Since every item on my list is totally unrealistic, I figured I might as well throw that one in.
Happy Mother's Day, everyone. And just in case you think motherhood is without its rewards, here is a picture of what I get to hang out with every day:
Now, I think that's worth all the puke clean up in the world.
1) I want to be able to get Emily up in the morning without having to strip her down where she stands, rush her to the shower and throw the entire contents of her crib into a washing machine that contains almost as much bleach as it does water.
2) I want to go an entire day without being puked on.
3) I want to go an entire day without saying the word "puke".
4) I want to prepare a meal where all the food doesn't have to qualify as bland and binding.
5) I want all that which belongs in the diaper to cleave unto the diaper.
6) Lastly, I would like a new car that fits a stroller and groceries. Since every item on my list is totally unrealistic, I figured I might as well throw that one in.
Happy Mother's Day, everyone. And just in case you think motherhood is without its rewards, here is a picture of what I get to hang out with every day:
Now, I think that's worth all the puke clean up in the world.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
A Series of Catastrophic Failures
It all started a few weeks ago with the kitchen light. That particular light has always chewed through bulbs like those little Japanese guys chew through hot dogs at eating competitions. So when a bulb burned out and Chris went to change it, he realized that the high tech heat shield (consisting of what looked like metallic spraypaint over cardboard) had failed and that the wires were starting to scorch. So that night we had to cut our once-quarterly date short to pick up this number:
I admit, it looks much better than the old one, but I would rather have not had to spend the money in the first place.
Two weeks went by almost without incident until Tuesday. Tuesday morning was rough. Emily woke up very early and seemed bent on injuring herself all morning. I decided to give myself a break at lunchtime and microwave some chicken nuggets. The microwave operated for approximately one second before it tripped the GFCI. I reset it. It tripped it again. The next twenty minutes consisted of preheating the oven and cooking the nuggets the old fashioned way while Emily maintained a constant whine of, "nuuuuuuggeeeets!", finally resorting to tears
before she could partake of the promised chicken bits.
That night we picked up a new microwave. Things went well until the next night when we were microwaving dinners (I know - I'm a crappy homemaker) and the new microwave died. Since the modes of failure were completely different, we concluded it was bad luck rather than bad wiring. So, for the second night in a row, we picked up a new microwave. This one has passed the 24 hour mark, so I think we are going to be okay.
Tonight was the final straw. As I was waging my war against the spider mites that seem so intent upon entering my home, I was cleaning all the floors in my house. I ever so lightly bumped the vacuum on a corner and the cover flew off spectacularly, shooting five feet and coming to rest minus the clip that holds it closed. I am afraid it is irreparably broken. But April is almost over and I have a grand plan involving duct tape that I am sure will get us by until the May paycheck. I hope next month will be kinder to our household appliances.
I admit, it looks much better than the old one, but I would rather have not had to spend the money in the first place.
Two weeks went by almost without incident until Tuesday. Tuesday morning was rough. Emily woke up very early and seemed bent on injuring herself all morning. I decided to give myself a break at lunchtime and microwave some chicken nuggets. The microwave operated for approximately one second before it tripped the GFCI. I reset it. It tripped it again. The next twenty minutes consisted of preheating the oven and cooking the nuggets the old fashioned way while Emily maintained a constant whine of, "nuuuuuuggeeeets!", finally resorting to tears
before she could partake of the promised chicken bits.That night we picked up a new microwave. Things went well until the next night when we were microwaving dinners (I know - I'm a crappy homemaker) and the new microwave died. Since the modes of failure were completely different, we concluded it was bad luck rather than bad wiring. So, for the second night in a row, we picked up a new microwave. This one has passed the 24 hour mark, so I think we are going to be okay.
Tonight was the final straw. As I was waging my war against the spider mites that seem so intent upon entering my home, I was cleaning all the floors in my house. I ever so lightly bumped the vacuum on a corner and the cover flew off spectacularly, shooting five feet and coming to rest minus the clip that holds it closed. I am afraid it is irreparably broken. But April is almost over and I have a grand plan involving duct tape that I am sure will get us by until the May paycheck. I hope next month will be kinder to our household appliances.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Going Green
Today my blog is going green. Everyone talks about how life changing it is, so I thought I would try it for one day. It is Earth Day today and I am thinking about how much I miss being a student at UW on Earth Day. Every year, the Agriculture fraternity would celebrate by killing several cows and cooking up free burgers and beans for the whole campus. Now, that's a great way to celebrate the earth. What good is the earth anyway if you can't grow tasty cows on it?
Just because I can't have a free burger doesn't mean that I can't celebrate Earth Day in my own way. I am celebrating with a series of small changes. Today I pledge that I will not:
1) Drive Chris' nasty, dirty gas guzzling truck.
2) Spill any oil in any ocean or major waterway.
3) Use any cleaning products or paper towels.
4) Use any toilet paper. (Instead, I am keeping an old T-shirt by the toilet.)
5) Shower.
6) Use a coal burning furnace.
I calculate that by doing this, I will save sixteen butterflies, eight whales and that I will destroy my marriage when Chris comes home to a stinky wife, a dirty house and poop all over his favorite shirt (which I am using as a substitute for toilet paper). We all have to make sacrifices to save the earth. What will yours be?
It has been fun going green today but for the next post I think I will return to black. It is much easier on the eyes.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
A dilemma
This weekend I am attending a wedding which is the fourth for the bride and at least the second for the groom. The bride is in her fifties with some grown children and some at home. The time is getting short and I have still not purchased a gift. What do you bring to a wedding of two independent families who are probably trying to eliminate belongings rather than taking them on?
So far, here are my ideas:
1) One of the crystal bowls I got for my wedding seven years ago and still have not taken out of the box.
2) Their first joint pet. Perhaps a cat.
3) A Dodge Dart with monogrammed seat covers.
That's all I've got. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Really. Please.
So far, here are my ideas:
1) One of the crystal bowls I got for my wedding seven years ago and still have not taken out of the box.
2) Their first joint pet. Perhaps a cat.
3) A Dodge Dart with monogrammed seat covers.
That's all I've got. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Really. Please.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Two good things
Today two good things happened:
The first was that the drywall guys finished in our basement guest room. It's not that they haven't been perfectly polite and considerate - it's just weird having strangers in your house all
day. It has been fun making the neighbors think that I'm having an affair with a guy who drives an Astro Van, but I am so happy to have the house back to myself. Oh - and if I ever did have an affair, it would be with a guy
who drives a purple Hyundai. I have a weakness for men who are so secure in their masculinity that they are comfortable driving cars normally piloted by high school girls.
The second good thing that happened was that we finally had a warm day. Emily wore shorts for the first time this year. She braved a bad cold to spend some time in the sun.
(By the way, we didn't get a dog - we just had our lawn aerated.) Due to global warming, shorts day came quite a bit later than it has in previous years and that made it even more welcome.
The first was that the drywall guys finished in our basement guest room. It's not that they haven't been perfectly polite and considerate - it's just weird having strangers in your house all
day. It has been fun making the neighbors think that I'm having an affair with a guy who drives an Astro Van, but I am so happy to have the house back to myself. Oh - and if I ever did have an affair, it would be with a guy
who drives a purple Hyundai. I have a weakness for men who are so secure in their masculinity that they are comfortable driving cars normally piloted by high school girls.The second good thing that happened was that we finally had a warm day. Emily wore shorts for the first time this year. She braved a bad cold to spend some time in the sun.
(By the way, we didn't get a dog - we just had our lawn aerated.) Due to global warming, shorts day came quite a bit later than it has in previous years and that made it even more welcome.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
A quick trip to Wal Mart
Last night I had to pay a visit to Wal Mart. Normally I don't shop there, but I was only a few blocks away running errands and I just had to pick up a few items for the priesthood ice cream social. How bad could it be?
I entered Wal Mart at 7:25 and counted myself extremely lucky to find a cart with a working toddler seatbelt on only the second try. This should have been a good omen for the rest of my trip. I found the toppings with no trouble with the exception of the Reddi Whip and the cherries. After picking up the disposable bowls and spoons, I realized I was making great time and congratulated myself on conquering the Wal Mart beast.
Next was the Reddi Whip. I checked by the cream and milk. Not there. I checked by the
refrigerated Jell-o. Maybe Reddi Whip doesn't have to be refrigerated. I checked by the baking supplies. Not there. I checked in the center-of-the isle refrigerated bins. Not there. Discouraged and sick of singing "Old McDonald Had a Farm" to keep Emily from having a meltdown, I went for the ice cream.
After procuring the ice cream, I finally found a Wal Mart employee. She was a stocker, but my best bet. After explaining to her what Reddi Whip was, she told me to check by the milk. I checked again and found it had not magically appeared. Defeated, I picked up a tub of frozen-solid Cool Whip and hoped it would thaw on my way to drop off the supplies. By then, the ice cream had started to get soft, so I exchanged it for some fresh ice cream before leaving the store.
On my way out, I passed the milk, then the cottage cheese, then the yogurt then - Reddi Whip!
For some reason, in the collective Wal Mart brain, whipped topping is closer in genus and species to yogurt than to whipping cream. I triumphantly placed two cans of it in my cart and sneaked the Cool Whip from my cart onto the shelf next to the cottage cheese.
When I went to check out, I realized two things: 1) I never did find those cherries and 2) I accidentally grabbed light ice cream. Oh well, most of those guys could stand to loose a few pounds anyway.
I finally left the store at 8:15. It had taken me 50 minutes to pick up ice cream and toppings. My weekly grocery trip to King Soopers normally takes 45. In the future, I will remember there is no such thing as a quick trip to Wal Mart.
I entered Wal Mart at 7:25 and counted myself extremely lucky to find a cart with a working toddler seatbelt on only the second try. This should have been a good omen for the rest of my trip. I found the toppings with no trouble with the exception of the Reddi Whip and the cherries. After picking up the disposable bowls and spoons, I realized I was making great time and congratulated myself on conquering the Wal Mart beast.
Next was the Reddi Whip. I checked by the cream and milk. Not there. I checked by the
refrigerated Jell-o. Maybe Reddi Whip doesn't have to be refrigerated. I checked by the baking supplies. Not there. I checked in the center-of-the isle refrigerated bins. Not there. Discouraged and sick of singing "Old McDonald Had a Farm" to keep Emily from having a meltdown, I went for the ice cream.After procuring the ice cream, I finally found a Wal Mart employee. She was a stocker, but my best bet. After explaining to her what Reddi Whip was, she told me to check by the milk. I checked again and found it had not magically appeared. Defeated, I picked up a tub of frozen-solid Cool Whip and hoped it would thaw on my way to drop off the supplies. By then, the ice cream had started to get soft, so I exchanged it for some fresh ice cream before leaving the store.
On my way out, I passed the milk, then the cottage cheese, then the yogurt then - Reddi Whip!
For some reason, in the collective Wal Mart brain, whipped topping is closer in genus and species to yogurt than to whipping cream. I triumphantly placed two cans of it in my cart and sneaked the Cool Whip from my cart onto the shelf next to the cottage cheese.When I went to check out, I realized two things: 1) I never did find those cherries and 2) I accidentally grabbed light ice cream. Oh well, most of those guys could stand to loose a few pounds anyway.
I finally left the store at 8:15. It had taken me 50 minutes to pick up ice cream and toppings. My weekly grocery trip to King Soopers normally takes 45. In the future, I will remember there is no such thing as a quick trip to Wal Mart.
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